Outstanding

This weekend, the crocuses bloomed.

The red wing blackbirds arrived.

These guys are regulars since the wetland restoration in our neighborhood was completed.

That can mean only one thing:

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Sunkissed

Sunshine has been a much needed tonic for me. Through the winter, my morning and evening commutes have been dark, cold affairs that offered little comfort. The first glimmers of change came with fingers of pink and blue light streaking the sky on the morning commute and a slow realization that there was a golden glow not emanating from my headlight alone on my evening commute.

This week brought the fullness of Spring as the sun shone with an intent that it has not had this Winter as it barely dented the leaden skies, its warmth was felt by all of us out in it, and crocuses started stirring and raising themselves from long sleep underground. I've been kissed by the sun on several occasions this week, getting out to ride in shorts; my knees seeing daylight for the first time in months.

With the change in season I feel a change in mood. I want out. Out of school. Out of work. Out of life commitments. I want to live solely and exclusively for joy and wonder. I know this isn't realistic, but Spring is the time that reckless hopes and dreams can be put forth. Reality is a little less playful. I know that I will wake up and start the work week tomorrow, as sure as I know that the pre-Spring weather will snap back to the more seasonably appropriate chilly, windy and rainy that is sure to befall us this week. But the glimmer of change that the weather has brought to both my mind and my body will hopefully stick around long enough to make it to the full blossom of Spring in just a short time. I can last in the cold darkness just a little while longer knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel is near and approaching fast.

Keeping busy

It has been a busy few weeks. The start of a new semester of teaching, the start of a new semester of grad school and the roller coaster of owning a bike shop when the weather oscillates wildly between freezing cold and "here comes Spring!" nice has been a bit overwhelming. Riding every day has been a significant stress release and those few weekend days where the sun has been shining and the temperatures have been warm enough to allow for riding without a huge number of layers have made me feel content and that all is right with the world.

My health has been great and my cognitive and emotional states have been dramatically different since I started the Apeoquerin supplement trial. I don't know if I am a part of the placebo group or not, but I have noticed a marked improvement. I no longer feel a thick, fuzzy layer in my brain and I have noticed that I don't get as agitated in stressful situations in my classroom. Whatever the reason may be, I'm enjoying the effects.

The racing season starts in a month and a half, so training has taken on a little more prominence in my life. I don't have the time in the day to do longer bike rides, so I have added running to my training regimen. It has been a nice change of pace to start running again. I always forget how enjoyable it is to just put on some shoes and go. To my mix of targeted events this year I have added The Bear. A run from Linville, NC to the top of Grandfather Mtn. during the Highland Games. Add to that a few local 5k's and maybe, just maybe the offroad marathon at The Triple Lakes Challenge in September and this could be a pretty full season of riding and running.

I'm closing in on mile 500 this weekend. It seems like a lot, but I know that I don't really ride much, I just ride often right now. Once summer hits, I'm hoping to get seriously ahead of the goal of 3,650 miles and not look back. Maren from Can Do MS let me know that there have been many donations to them through the MS 365 Project link and I truly appreciate it. I will update you with the donation totals when I get them from her.

As Spring approaches, take advantage of every nice day by getting out and moving. You won't regret it.

Light me up

photo by Brapke (a)artwork

While I don't know if I am taking a supplement that has the light-emitting jellyfish protein or a placebo, I am feeling different. I just started noticing that I am remembering to do little tasks that people ask me to do without any mental effort on my part. I normally spend a great deal of mental time trying to remember things, either keeping it in my active memory, "Don't forget x. Don't forget x." over and over again, or "There was something I was supposed to do..." I often found myself apologizing to people for having completely forgotten to do what they had asked me to do. I don't like being undependable and not being able to remember things is a pretty big thing in the dependability department.

So when I remembered to do a small task that my wife had mentioned for me to do, and not just remembered, but remembered it easily and without effort, I took note.  If this stuff works, I'm all for it.

Grad school has kicked into gear, a new teaching semester has started and the bike shop is continuing with the normal stresses of running a small business in these difficult economic times. Having a clear head that isn't filled with fog is a nice change of pace through this. But a supplement alone isn't the magic answer. 

People I work with think that I ride my bike to school every day as some sort of green-ecostatement kind of thing. No one can fathom that it is exercise. I see teachers eating garbage food, working a stressful job, getting little exercise and gaining weight surely and steadily. Coworkers who don't know me very well are flabbergasted the first time they see me eat lunch, often commenting,"I didn't think you really ate that much!" I try to explain to them that by riding my bike 4 miles to school in the sub 20 degree morning, I probably burned more calories than they will burn all day, but that usually isn't the end of it.

Nothing beats having a tough and stressful day melt away on the ride home. Riding is stress release, exercise, and a workout of my nervous system that I am convinced does more to keep my MS almost completely in remission than anything else. I wouldn't mind some warmer weather though...

Ratcheting up

It's the time of year when lots of obligations and responsibilities ramp up in my life. As a teacher, the end of the semester is the time for state standardized tests, which this time around has been punctuated by school cancellations and delays due to snow and ice.  As a grad student, the new semester is upon me and I am finding out the projects and assignments that I will need to successfully accomplish this time around.  As a small business owner, the economic climate of our small town does not give any sense of comfort or predictability.  Of utmost importance is my wife and son.  It is imperative that I not let other responsibilities take away from my most important role as a father and husband.

It is a juggling act that is easy sometimes and incredibly difficult at others. Daily exercise helps ease the effects of stress, but it always lurks. The hardest part of it all is simply remembering what I should be doing, what I need to do, and about a million other things that I need to keep track of.  My memory- especially my short term memory, is getting worse and worse.  I'm trying to develop habits that help to counteract the effects of this cognitive deterioration, but I haven't struck a natural workflow that I can rely on.  Online calendars/to do lists, paper notebooks, paper calendars - none of these things has become habitual.

I've started a trial supplement study for Apoqueorin, a chemical derived from light-emitting jellyfish.  I don't know if I am taking the true supplement or a placebo this first go round, but I will definitely get the supplement in the second round trial.  Apoqueorin is being tested as a supplement to aid in cognition, fatigue and sleep quality in MS patients. It will be interesting to see if this has any effect on my personal cognitive issues.

What are your solutions to keeping track of your busy life?

Dancing in the snow

Good on ya, Lenoir! The greenway got lots of snow visits.

 We got a heavy snowfall for this area, yesterday.  Fine, fat, fluffy flakes dropped lazily throughout the day, ultimately accumulating into about 6 inches or so of very nice powder on the ground.

Our roads were blanketed with snow and few people were out traveling.  School was closed, so Golden and I had a day off from teaching.  We decided to close the bike shop to discourage people from driving unnecessarily. And so I found myself with an opportunity to go do a bike ride in the snow.

Temperatures were brisk; never getting much above the upper 20's.  I decided to stay close to home (and warmth), so I thought it would be fun to go do a 'cross bike ride on the greenway.  Jack Brown decided to join me and off we went, late in the afternoon.

Jack Brown - he slid around but didn't fall down!

The roads had been plowed, which around here means that some asphalt may peek out of expanses of snowy powder punctuated with large areas of compacted snow that is better described as corrugated ice.  We rode along, each of us on two skinny knobby tires, constantly watching for ice and always shifting balance to remain upright and moving forward.

Gotta dress for success

We hit the greenway and found a carpet of white powder with a few footsteps in it.  We immediately accelerated, riding fast with the satisfying crunch-squeak of new fallen snow under our tires.  Snow can be amazingly deceptive.  Here in 6 inches of fresh powder our tires gripped with the sureness of velcro.  Where people before us had walked, there was a compaction tending towards ice that led to wariness on our part, but no actual problems, either.

As the temperature dropped, we noticed a bit more sliding, but the icy layer was under the powder and looked no different from anything else we rode on.

Traction was much better than you would think.

Riding on snow is a bit of a dance.  You ride lightly, keeping your body loose.  As you feel the bike shift in the snow and ice, you move yourself around to maintain your balance, but always subtly and slightly.  Huge, sudden movements are bad.  You can anticipate some of the more obvious potential dangers like the large icy patches that develop at stop signs and stop light from people spinning their wheels when they stomp the accelerator to put their car in motion.  But you can't anticipate them all.  You have to be open to shifting conditions and react to the best of your ability without overdoing it.  Over correction is just as bad as not doing anything at all.

Riding in the snow, you cut a new path for yourself, anticipate big problems, adjust for the myriad small problems that are thrown at you, all while constantly and thrillingly moving forward.  There aren't too many things that are better than that.

MS Trek IV: The Search for Doc

I'm trying to find a new neurologist.  This has never been an easy task for me since my first neurologist was such a great person to work with as an MS patient.  But I can no longer drive the 3+ hours to see him and get the adequate doctor-patient relationship that a person with MS needs.

My solve for this has been to try going to see recommended neurologists in my area, but that has not been a good experience.  I have had neurologists tell me they don't like dealing with MS patients because we ask too many questions.  I have had neurologists do a follow up visit with me after the initial visit (where they did the cursory neuro tests) and tell me what they think the next step of my treatment should be while never once looking up from the stack of charts (that are other patient's) and look at me during the conversation.

So, I am now looking for a neurologist in Charlotte which is about an hour and a half drive from here.  This leads me to think about what I am looking for in a neurologist.  I am not looking for a neurologist to take charge of my MS life and provide me with all the answers.  What I do want is someone who looks at me as a partner in my fight against MS.  I want a corner man.  I'm the one who has to get in the ring and go toe to toe with MS, but I need someone who can offer advice and wisdom when the round ends.  I need someone who understands that my ultimate goal is to win not survive.

What successes and failures have you had in finding a neurologist?  What qualities do you value in a neurologist?  How did you find a neurologist that you are happy with?  These are the questions I would love to hear answers to, since I have no interaction with anyone with MS.  I know I'm not alone in this quest to find a good neurologist, so sharing your thoughts with me is most appreciated.